Vinh Pham

I was driving down one of those roads where there are no residential houses near by, then BAM! suddenly a little dog ran out in front of my car. I must have struck that poor little thing in the leg for something, because it started spinning in circles and crying.

The sad part is, I was thinking about my dog at the time and how I want to get home ASAP b/c I left it alone all morning.

Shocked, and not knowing what to do, I frantically called my girlfriend. To be honest, if it wasn’t for her (unhealthy) affection for animals of all kind, I would have probably pretended I didn’t see the dog and drove off. ( Yea I know, I am horrible… )

But being the new improved me, I took the dog to the Vet. They immediately began checking it and giving it xrays etc… I sat around for almost an hour while they did that. I also said yes to paying $150 for the examination.

Luckily for me, when the vet contacted the owner, she agreed to pay for the charges, so the Vet allowed me to go home.

Although I feel bad for hitting the poor dog, I blame all this on the dog’s owner. It is highly irresponsible to let your dog run around all day while you are off at work. They told me that this is NOT the first time this dog has ran off. I wish people would be more careful with their pets so that I don’t end up hurting another poor animal.

After paying 15******* income, I am down about $17,000 for the year. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I decided to give myself a raise.

So for the past few days I have been cruising Craigslist for new employment opportunities. Here are a couple things I noticed about Craigslist job posting that is really annoying:

1) “+5 years experience” - For some random job that any high school kid can do.

2) AJAX, RIA, YUI, OO, DOJO, JSON, RSS, XML, ATOM, CSS, XHTML, HTML, PHP, SQL, SVN, LAMP, SEO blah blah blah blah blah… Ok seriously, is this suppose to frighten me away, or is it some sort of test to determine if I am worthy?

3) A 5 paragraph description of the company - Ummm ok? WTF.. Your company obviously has a freaking website, why don’t you just link it and keep your posting to the point??

4) “Implement SQL to achieve efficient, orderly, analytical, and systematic database transaction to further enhance the integrity of our site” - Why such a long paragraph that doesn’t seem to say anything?

I like postings that get to point, and shows that he company actually KNOWS what they are talking about. If it was up to me, my posting would be something simple like this:

“New Startup Seek Web Designer, Send Portfolio Link Here:”

Bam… you’re done. If a responder cannot provide a portfolio link, obviously that person doesn’t fit the bill….

Ok, this just does not make any sense to me…

The economy is going down the tubes and kids are stupid… The solution… Cut education funding? Lay off teachers?

It’s like patching a leaking damn with bubble gum. Sure it seems like a great idea now, but how will we secure our future in the long run?

How does this make any sense??

Once in a while, for unknown reasons, my pupils get very dilated and will not shrink regardless of how much light I shine on it.
During these moments my vision is very blurry and I feel kinda aloof….

I am guessing its something I should consult a doctor about, but it happens so rarely I don’t remember to report it. I tried searching on the internet but could not find anyone reporting the same problem…

So, are you here because you have the same problem? Please let me know…

The other night, I dreamed that a Query attacked me. That’s right… A QUERY!!! I think that’s a clear indication that I’ve been working way too too much… What the hell does it mean when a Query attacks you?

Today, I had an equally strange dream… I dreamed Barak Obama lost the Presidental race. Man I was disappointed. I was like, “damn, you freaking ‘tards, do you want another 8 years of Bush?”

Speaking of Barak Obama, I loved the way John Stewart translated the whole Obama elitist controversy. John Stewart asked, don’t we want an elite president? someone who is better than us? Why would we want an average person to run the country? remember the last time we did that?? Anyways, I think he has good point. I do hope our next president is smarter than us all.

At the behest of my buddy Trung, I finally began reading the Rails book. I think it has been almost 3 years now since he first told me to read it. Needless to say, I am a fool for not reading it then. Instead, I spent my time toying with PHP and CSS.

But not all is loss. Because of all the years of training in PHP and CSS, I now have a healthy appreciation for Rails and I am constantly amazed by the things it can do with one simple line of code. The way Rails code organize makes me shutter thinking about my old PHP programs. It also makes me wonder if the guy who wrote Rails had prophetic powers because he seems to know exactly what I need…

This history channel special on “toilets” is one of the most interesting piece of television I have seen in weeks, and more informative and unbiased than the entire existence of Fox News (take that!).

Funny fact: The guy who invented one of the first modern toilet is named “Thomas Crapper”. The narrator had the galls to say “While crapper was making a name for himself…”

Funnier fact(maybe?): In Asia mostly everyone is right handed because back in the days you reserve your left hand to wipe your ass. LOL.

Have you ever been to a friend’s house, and their toilet is completely yellow? Or, is your toilet yellow? I don’t think they make yellow toilets… Disgusting… How do people live like that?? My toilet is white… You can come see for yourself if you don’t believe me…

This is partly because I have resulted to just sitting down. Yea, the idea sounds ultra (insert bigot statement here), but I can’t aim for shit, so I might as well save myself the trouble of having to clean afterwards. The only problem with sitting down to piss, is that you end up wanting to take a “crap” too. How do girls do it??

Speaking of “crap”, I wonder why they have not invented a toilet with a vacuum system that sucks the stink in. Seriously, why let the stink escape into the air around you… Why not put he vacuum right in the toilet, so that it sucks the stink right as it comes out of your cake hole. I should invent this and become rich! I will call the technology the Vinhner. One day people will say. I gotta take a “Vinh”. That sir, would be awesome!!!

After reading news articles, watching TV, or just talking to my friends about anything controversial, it always makes me incredibly frustrated. Frustrated because there never seems to be a right answer, a unifying idea, or at the very least, a best choice.

Take for example, the battle over who should be the next president. Obama? Clinton? McCain? Or the controversy surrounding the China Olympics. Should China be punished for the way they govern? Or should we leave China alone and learn to clean up our act before pointing the finger? Better yet, can we decide once and for all what came first? The chicken, or the egg?

To be frank, I am getting tired of having to deal with other people’s opinion. I get sick of having to make compromises with other people because they don’t agree with me. Hell, I am annoyed that we always drink “Orange Dream Machine” at Jamba Juice because that’s the only flavor my girlfriend likes!

Anyways… My point is, I think we should use the internet as a tool to unite like minded people. And I am not simply talking about a forum for car-hobbyist, Hillary Duff fan club, or foot-fetish. I am specifically talking about using the internet as a way to connect people from around the world who think EXACTLY, or close to EXACTLY, alike.

Seriously, I would love to meet another person who thinks and act just like me: a pompous jackass with an insatiable thirst for coconut juice! That way we can form a special group and sit around agreeing, and complementing each other all day… I don’t know about you, but sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than sitting around arguing with people because they can’t see things from your point of view.

Now, I do realize that the idea of forming a perfect group of people is Hitler-Nazi and KKK like, however, my idea is different in that my groups of like-minded-people are intended for sharing of ideas and NOT to be used as a form of “elitism” or superiority. The group is NOT about being better than others, but it is about being with people who can understand what you are saying, and can honestly put themselves in your shoe.

Many of you are probably going to say, “Vinh, you’re an idiot, that’s what friends are for. Don’t be all spastic just because you don’t have any friends…” But no, that is not true. A friend, family member, significant other, or even a spouse, is not necessarily the kind of person that you can be like-minded with. Take me and my girlfriend for example, we disagree on so so so so so so many things. If our relationship was based on compatibility, we would be two strangers on bus heading in opposite directions.

Ideally, people in your group of like-minded-people would be like an exact replica of you thought process wise. You would agree on political issues, order the same plates in a restaurant, and most of all, you should definitely know the answer to the question… “Are you a wader? (as in toilet paper)”

Anyways, I can’t wait until something like this exists on the internet for me for find my like-minded-people. Or maybe, if I was smart enough, I could create the site to help people find their like-minded counterpart. Either way, I think we should hurry with the development. It will save me a lot of frustration listening to people around me giving all sorts of bull crap I don’t agree with.

I been getting into the habit of watching Star Trek - Voyager lately because of my girlfriend. Yea, I know, freaky… Anyways, I caught an early edition of the Star Trek series this morning, the one with Captain Kirk and Spock.

I have always thought that “seven of nine” tight outfit was a bit riskee, but damn, this old Star Trek makes captain Jane Way look like grandma.

Captain Kirk was a pimp! Of the five minutes that I saw, Captain Kirk’s female crew member wore short skirt uniforms that would make any man be ok with being lost the “delta quadrant” forever. On top of that, for some reason, Captain Kirk began making out with scantily clad female “aliens”.

Inter-gallactic pimp?? Explore the universe, one bra strap at a time… Man, where do I sign up?