so out of luck


I always thought that Chinese dudes, or any Asian dudes, have it bad when it comes to women because of their social inequities, but now this: China Faces Major Gender Imbalance. :lol:

I would just like to send out my condolences to all my Chinese brothers. Farewell, make tons of money, and maybe you won’t die alone. :lol:

But on a serious note. I never thought of this, but it must be strange to live in a country where the government gets to tell you how many babies you can have. It’s always an interesting point to stand back and look at how to be part of a “civilized” society, we have to sacrifice a lot of our human rights and freedom. I guess “equality” is finding the right combination of human rights and “civility”.

Hmm. Come to think of it, it would be a lot easier if humans were just innately “good”. Then there would be no need for civilized society. Go figure. :roll:

a moment of doubt a lifetime of regret


I spend a considerable amount of my life “doubting” myself. I FEEL like the people around me do the same. Yet, I don’t think anything good has ever came out of me doubting myself, or other people doubting me. It’s always the opposite. I admit it, I am a dreamer. Some days I feel like pressing the ignite button on my car and imagine that rocket boosters will come out of the tailpipe and my car will blast off into the air as I fly through traffic like a blazing rocket.

That’s the world I live in. A world full of fanatical ideas and ambition. But its damn hard to exist in that world when no one I know really see anything more than an Asian kid with spiky hair.

So, the cumulation of my story here is: On Friday, while sitting here in my cubicle I read an article about the Apple Convention next Tuesday. I read speculation Apple will release an iPhone. I thought to myself: I bet their stock will rise, maybe I should put all the money I have into it and cash out on Tuesday as soon as the product is release. If anything, I would earn at least 5% return on my investment…

In a perfect world I would have done it. But its not. Instead, I thought to myself about how unreasonable I am, and how stupid I was to think that I, a lowly biosci graduate, could DARE to dream about the idea playing the stock market.

Now it’s Tuesday. Apple stock soared to 8******* of $5000 is $300. Its take me 8 hours of work to make around $150 bucks. I could have made $300 in 15 minutes. :roll: ( yes, minus taxes, fees, etc.. shut up )

Ok Ok, so this is a trivial example. But this example is just a taste of what doubting myself has cost me in my life. Needless to say, there are still a lot of crazy ideas in my head. Hopefully if they ever leak out, no one will be there to squash it.

Love is a genetic defect


Here is an interesting bit from Yahoo.

Women seem to judge potential mates by how masculine their features are, new research shows. Men with square jaws and well-defined brow ridges are seen as good short-term partners, while those with more feminine traits such as a rounder face and fuller lips are perceived as better long-term mates.

According to this I am probably feminine because I don’t remember my face being very square. :lol:

This research is scientific proof that “nice guys finish last”.

Although I am not nice. :P

black on black killings


I found this news article on Yahoo! today and it blew me out of the water: Where’s the outrage over black-on-black killings?

I have always thought about this every time I hear news stories about cops killing “black” people. It makes my blood curl to see countless numbers of black leaders come out of the woods detesting these “murders”. To me, it always seem like they rushed to a conclusion. I have always felt that their actions spurred more hatred, segregation, and fear than anything else. Never have I felt that their actions brought home a message of peace or equality. More likely, they preached a message of ignorance and prejudice.

I am not saying that there is no “racism” or that there are no “racist” police officers, however, I just feel that before labeling someone a “racist”, you have to show PROOF. Just as you expect a police officer to show undoubted truth over why they used their guns, you must show undoubted proof that the police officer is “racist” before you scream your head off about it.

This news article brings up some interesting points about this argument, and it has added weight because it comes from the perspective of a “black” man. I am glad to see that I am not the only person who wonders about these things.

what is privacy


There was a discussion on slashdot about “social networks” and privacy. Some people pointed out that old taboo of putting too much “personal” information online that can harm your chances of landing a job. Although I do acknowledge the veracity of that statement, I feel that in my case, I rather my employer knows everything about me before they hire me. I feel that complete honestly would foster a healthy work environment and an enduring partnership. I feel that whenever I “submit” a resume, I have demoted myself to being an employee. But if an employer can see me for who I am and what I can bring to the table, there is a better chance that I can be a “partner” in success rather than just a worker bee.

innovative ideas


I saw a news story on this thing called the “One Laptop per Child” initiative. Although their “mode” of delivering world peace is some what of an odd ball, I think it is a brilliant idea (on the count that these kids won’t use these laptops to watch porn). The internet is filled with knowledge, and you can learn practically anything on the net. However, I am troubled by the fact that lately the internet have been bombarded with a lot of stupidity. I am glad that the internet has been able to fight off the onslaught of pornography from its early beginnings ( I remember when almost every other website was a porn website in 1997 or so. ), but now the internet is filled with uninspiring websites like YouTube and MySpace. Those two, most popular website of our age, is actually the most useless. Sites like wikipedia, craiglists, and slashdot are legitimate information hub and are the shining star of what the internet can do for humanity. Yet, the attention they draw from young consumers is nothing compared to those other idiotic websites.

learning the joy of living


I have come realized that life is so much more enjoyable when I am actively involved in learning something new. Regardless of what it is, if I am learning something new, it is more fun than not. A lot of people seem content with living off what they already know. They enjoy repeating the routine they did yesterday, and take comfort in knowing that routine will suffice them for tomorrow. :? Actually, there is nothing wrong with being “routine” or wanting today to be tomorrow. I myself am very resistant to change, that is why I stayed here in Davis. However, the problem arise when one shuts him or herself from actively acquiring knowledge. You can go on being the same person, doing the same thing, day in day out, in the physical sense. But if you let your mind do that, you are really doing a disservice to yourself. Anyways, I found that picture on flickr. Anyone who sees a picture like that and does not click on it must be crazy. Its really funny. If anyone ever ask me why they should embrace the concept of evolution, I’ll show them a picture of that. :wink:

gripped with fear tonight


As I was sitting here I am suddenly gripped by fear as thoughts of my the money I owed rolled through my head. How did I dig myself into this grave? I am buried way too deep and I have no idea how to climb out. I see myself digging into the dirt with my fingernails, slowly carving a small hole sideway in the dirt to try and get out. It’s going to be painful and long. I will be indebted to my job and I will forever be trapped in my current financial state. I am living on the edge really. If anything bad happens to me or my family, I would be bankrupt. If I miss one pay check, I would be doomed. Its really scary. I always knew how bad it was, but I don’t remember ever being so scared. :? The only thing I can do is pray. As with everything in my life, I need God to lead me through this dark tunnel. I am scared.

the worse evil of all


Whoever invented the 9 – 5 job life is a freaking evil. Institutionalizing humanity, deceiving civilization into believing that the only way to success and prosperity is by routinizing their lives is absolutely sadistic. It’s amazing how many people are convinced that “working” is a pleasureful experience and that by “working” they will achieve unscrupulous success. I am very perplexed by this mass deception upon humanity. I am greater troubled by the fact that because of financial pitfalls I am bounded to this deception as well. :x

is ambition a bad thing


Its funny, but sometimes I feel like having ambition is actually a bad thing. Somedays I feel like people are rewarded for being complacent, for following rules, and going with the flow. I don’t see myself being anything of those. I am no rebel, but I certainly don’t like to do things the “usual” way. People say don’t reinvent the wheel, but I say, why not. If no one re-invent the wheel, we would have never had rocket ships that takes us to the moon. I see myself as a visionary. It really annoys when I have to do things just because that how it is done normally.