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a moment of doubt a lifetime of regret

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I spend a considerable amount of my life “doubting” myself. I FEEL like the people around me do the same. Yet, I don’t think anything good has ever came out of me doubting myself, or other people doubting me. It’s always the opposite. I admit it, I am a dreamer. Some days I feel like pressing the ignite button on my car and imagine that rocket boosters will come out of the tailpipe and my car will blast off into the air as I fly through traffic like a blazing rocket.

That’s the world I live in. A world full of fanatical ideas and ambition. But its damn hard to exist in that world when no one I know really see anything more than an Asian kid with spiky hair.

So, the cumulation of my story here is: On Friday, while sitting here in my cubicle I read an article about the Apple Convention next Tuesday. I read speculation Apple will release an iPhone. I thought to myself: I bet their stock will rise, maybe I should put all the money I have into it and cash out on Tuesday as soon as the product is release. If anything, I would earn at least 5% return on my investment…

In a perfect world I would have done it. But its not. Instead, I thought to myself about how unreasonable I am, and how stupid I was to think that I, a lowly biosci graduate, could DARE to dream about the idea playing the stock market.

Now it’s Tuesday. Apple stock soared to 8******* of $5000 is $300. Its take me 8 hours of work to make around $150 bucks. I could have made $300 in 15 minutes. :roll: ( yes, minus taxes, fees, etc.. shut up )

Ok Ok, so this is a trivial example. But this example is just a taste of what doubting myself has cost me in my life. Needless to say, there are still a lot of crazy ideas in my head. Hopefully if they ever leak out, no one will be there to squash it.