Let gay people get married

Posted by vinhboy on Wednesday, June 18th, 2008 in Politics.

Being a devout ( church going ) Catholic, I am perplexed by why so many of us Christians are against the idea of gay marriage. What’s wrong with gay people getting married?

1) It ruins the sanctity of marriage – The sanctity of marriage? Does that even exist? How about we protect the sanctity of marriage by reducing our divorce rates first. Or better yet, protect the sanctity of marriage by being good, financially responsible, and loving parents. Obviously as a country we are not doing that with all the foreclosures, childhood obesity, and school shooting we are living with everyday. Sorry, but gay people can’t ruin the sanctity of marriage anymore than straight people already have.

2) Marriage is a commitment between a man and woman – I think being a man, or a woman is about a lot more than having a penis or breasts. It’s about committing to the responsibility of either bringing home the bacon, nurturing the family, or both. In today’s society, there are numerous examples of role reversals in nuclear-type families. The “man” stays at home to take care of the kids, and the “woman” goes to work. So in practice, the definition of “man” and “woman” has been greatly redefined. Should we stop people from living happy, fulfilling lives because we are unable to update our vocabulary?

3) It’s a sin – Not washing your hands before dinner is a sin. Please……….. “Let those who have NOT sinned throw the first rock”. Jesus taught us to show love and compassion to a prostitute, a tax collector, and a thief. Gay people are not prostitutes, tax collectors, or thieves, yet so many of us are ready to stone them to death. I don’t know what version of the bible you are reading, but God has always taught me to have compassion for everyone.

To sum it all up, the simple fact is, this is a matter of Church and State. Religion, of any flavor, should not enforce rules and edicts on people of the State.

If your religion, like mine, doesn’t favor homosexuality, then you have the responsibility to your faith of choosing the right path. But don’t go around forcing your fellow neighbors to adopt your beliefs. If you want to live in a society where religion tells the government what to do, move to the Middle East.

Jesus said, “Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar.” Marriage, outside of a church, is a property of the State. If gay people want to force you to let them marry inside your Church, then you can get mad all you want, but that’s not what they are asking. Most gay people are just asking for some respect.

39 Comments

  1. FlyMeAPenguin Says (July 17th, 2008):

    Amen!

  2. Storm Says (August 23rd, 2008):

    Since you asked:

    Why is Gay Marriage a bad idea? Let’s see if we can explain this.

    1. First, I want to say, I could be wrong about my opinion of Gay Marriage. So let me tell you my thinking on this. We aren’t against Gay Marriage because we are homophobic. We are against it because we believe we have valid reasons. These include reasons that do not appeal to religion or the Bible or the Koran. In other words these are valid reasons even for those who are not Islamic or Christian or religious in any way. Perhaps I can explain these reasons and you can tell me if you agree with them.

    2. To refute the argument I am about to present you have to show a counter argument. You have to show that either my facts are wrong or my logic is wrong. Calling me names like intolerant or questioning my motives or my culture is a fallacy that does not work rationally. It merely shows the ignorance and the irrationality of the name caller.

    3. Would you agree that we create governments to ensure a safe life for us and our children? After all we are the government. The laws we create are laws for the benefit of our culture and our grandkids. It is in the interest of all Governments to govern for the survival of its people and its culture. As you know bad laws can destroy our culture and jeopardize our children’s’ future. Thus, this is an issue that government should be involved in. Similarly would you agree that the Church or the Temple is also interested in the culture and the effect it has on children, thus the religious groups also have a vested interest in any issue that may affect our kids. This is especially true if a bad law would increase suffering that the church would have to help alleviate. We need to look at all laws compassionately and understand who would be hurt the most.

    continued below

  3. Storm Says (August 23rd, 2008):

    Contiued from above

    4. Studies have shown that Gay Marriage socially devalues marriage and reduces its exclusivity and thus its desirability.” Studies of countries that have had some sort of legalized Gay Marriage for over 10 years reveal that legalizing Gay Marriage decreases marriages, increases cohabitation and out of wedlock births and increases single parent families. This is statistically true and rather obvious when you think about it, if marriage has no special place in society and anybody can get married to anyone without limitations, then it becomes just a piece of paper. Once it’s just a piece of paper many couples as we have seen choose to forgo marriage. Statistically, unmarried couples with kids separate at a rate 2x to 3x greater than married couples with kids. It is also obvious that if marriage is not seen as a sacred and special covenant, people are more likely to divorce than attempt to make it work. Again, this is not an opinion but a conclusion derived from the facts.

    5. Why is this relevant? It’s because statistical evidence shows that children born or brought up out of wedlock, with a single parent or in a divorced home, while only 29% of the population, are the single greatest source of crime (70%), rapists (60%), suicides (65%), welfare recipients (>80%) & gang members . These kids also fail in school more often, are more violent and these children also use up the greatest amount of our social resources. In addition, non-nuclear families are the poorest statistically. This means that any child from one of these homes has a 2x to 3x chance of becoming a burden to society rather than a productive part of society. This also means that these unfortunate kids are at a higher risk to experience pain and suffering and abuse.
    Numerous studies have shown that every child needs a stable family with a male father and female mother (ideally biological parents) or they suffer physical and emotional and other consequences. Thus any law or policy or cultural norm that breaks down this family structure will increase all the above and gravely endanger the future of our children; including the ones unfortunate enough to be born outside a stable family. We need to focus on stopping the causes, not just fighting the symptoms. Please note: at no time in this argument have we brought up any objections to gay parents or gay adoptions, while we can argue about those issues separately they are irrelevant to this current argument.

    6. Since Gay Marriage has the proven tendency to put more children at risk even as an indirect effect, the only compassionate conclusion we can come up with is that it is against the interest of society, government, churches and all parents to allow Gay Marriage to be legalized without much further study. Statistics prove it. This would be a bad law and it would hurt kids the most. What I have presented is not a religious argument. It is a rational factual argument. If we care about kids we will care about what happens to them.

    Remember: I could be wrong in all this, but to refute this argument and convince logically thinking compassionate people otherwise you’d have to refute the facts and logic I’ve presented, not attack my motives or me. i.e. it is not sufficient to show that I am homophobic or intolerant. Even if I were you have to show why my facts are wrong or my conclusion is illogical to refute my argument. If you can show me a compelling reason why Gay Marriage would not affect or reduce out of wedlock rates or decrease heterosexual marriage and thus hurt kids, I would be willing to reconsider Gay Marriage. But until someone can refute this argument and show proven benefits, don’t we agree that our children’s’ futures are too sensitive to gamble on an unknown and perhaps potentially dangerous law. At the least we need much more statistical and social analysis. Compassion dictates that we move with great caution.

  4. Storm Says (August 23rd, 2008):

    References for above:
    Secular Sources:
    1. Judith S. Wallerstein and Joan B. Kelly, Surviving the Breakup (New York: Basic Books, 1980), 33, 4, 236, 46, 211.
    2. Wade Horn and Andrew Bush, "Fathers, Marriage, and Welfare Reform," Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997, Hudson Institute, Herman Kahn Center, 5395 Emerson Way, Indianapolis, IN 46226, (317) 545-1000. Quoted from http://patriot.net/~crouch/...
    3. Ramsey Clark, Crime in America: Observations on Its Nature, Causes, Prevention and Control (New York: Pocket Books, 1970), p.39. Cited in Amneus, The Garbage Generation.
    4. Is Making Divorce Easier Bad for Children? The Long-Run Implications of Unilateral Divorce by Jonathan Gruber, Massachusetts Institute of Technology and National Bureau of Economic Research. http://www.journals.uchicag... You can read the draft here (but have to pay money for the actual study). While I recommend reading the entire study, The draft is sufficient to see the point.
    5. The End of Marriage in Scandinavia by Stanley Kurtz 02/02/2004, Volume 009, Issue 20
    http://www.weeklystandard.c...

    Religious Sources:
    1. http://family.custhelp.com/...
    2. iMAPP: New Research on Married Parents and Crime: Are children raised outside of intact marriages at increased risk for crime and delinquency? iMAPP’s latest policy brief "Can Married Parents Prevent Crime? Recent Research on Family Structure and Delinquency 2000-2005" looks at empirical research from the United States published in peer-reviewed journals since 2000. September 21, 2005
    3. http://www.marriagedebate.c...
    4. http://www.divorcereform.or...
    5. http://family.custhelp.com/...

  5. Tami Says (September 4th, 2008):

    Storm.
    Shut up, you have no right to judge anyone.
    Who cares about how you feel about it, as
    long as you’re doing what you feel is right
    you shouldn’t be worried about it. If gays
    are going to have sex and live together what
    difference does it make for them to get married?
    It doesn’t change anything at all.

  6. mpha Says (September 8th, 2008):

    Storm,
    Who is to say that a homosexual man or woman does not understand or respect the value of marriage? In fact, wouldn’t one argue that they DO in fact respect the value of marriage, as they want to commit to each other and live with honor and legitimacy as straight people only sometimes do?

  7. school kids Says (October 1st, 2008):

    so, we are a group of school kids doing a report on gay marraige. we feel the excact same way as this blog. we feel as though gays should be aloud to be married. how would you feel if someone told you that you were not aloud to be with the person you love? it would piss me off pretty bad.
    put yourself in their shoes.

  8. Storm Says (October 1st, 2008):

    See that’s the problem. I presented an arguemnt and no one could refute the facts or the logic. All I see is emotional reponses. Well any body can give an emotional childish outburst. This is the same type of outburst that Nazi’s used against the Jews, racists against us colored people.

    If you have facts lets see them. If you don’t have facts then telling someone to shut up is unAmerican and undemocratic and fascist. So put your money where you mouth is and try to rationally refute this. You can feel anything you want but that’s not a valid excuse. KKK members feel that it’s OK to lynch us colored folk. Are you saying that they were right?

  9. bree Says (October 9th, 2008):

    they should have the same right as every one else, it un fair that they are not aloud to get married or adopt children, god should want this he is ment to treat everyone equaly. i find it racist in a way!!!!!!!!

  10. cory Says (October 29th, 2008):

    Storm I appreciate your comments and you stand undefeated in your arguments. Your points were well stated and I agree completely.
    Comments to the comments:
    mpha: have you looked at the statistics of how many gays went and divorced since it has been legalized? have you looked at the statisics of gay that have “changed their minds” and say they arent gay anymore? not much commitment there!
    Tami: “what difference does it make?” well not to mention the issues that storm already mentioned like these lifestyles raising murderers and rapists and creating an unsafe world but duh what would happen if we all became gay? we would kill ourselves off completely! we’re supposed to be a smart species I thought. Reproduction of healthy humans is kinda inevitable for our existance.
    School kids: well this is one of the problems- if we were made of completely emotions then it would be accurate for love to be the only factor in relationshps or a so called commitment. There is a whole lot to a marraige than just “oh but I love him” (heavy on the sarcastic soap opera tone) Sadly No one gay will ever be able to experience any of this. Because there are things only a man and a woman can do. I am not just speaking biologically however that is one the biggies. There is learning involved, growth, unexplainable joy in these things, differences because one is woman and one is man there are big differences between them it is hard for them to live together! What the aged old wisdom of parents and grandparents who have experienced stands true- marraige is more than just saying you love the person.
    Is this racists? no there are no noticable physical differences. I can tell an african american from anyone else to treat them different because of something that would never change even if they wanted to how do you tell a gay person? unless they change on purpose a physical feature? vin boy is right in one thing we shouldnt love them anyless should not treat them any different if they ever needed help. If they asked me I f I agreed with their lifestyle I would still say no. We can love the people and still not like what they do. Storm is exactly right that the children are who are not only who we should think about but are who are being targeted already. 5 years old do we really think they need to be told they could “marry a princess or prince” at that age?
    bree: rights? they have the same rights as I do they have the right for a man to amrry a woman and a woman to marry a man that is the very same right given to me!” Say I was raised by an african american family can I have college scholarships the same as an african american? but I want to be black! why cant I have the same rights as them? it dosnt make sense?! this argument is just as stupid. religion put aside a black person is born black a white person is born white cant be changed lets get along with the differences. A woman is born woman a man is born man- live with whats given you. Now a days you are basically considerd a bigot if you do not condone this. well isnt that saying the some about the acuser? can I not believe that the way that got me into this world was preferrable? can I not teach this to my own kids?! Freedom is being taken awayby this not given! what happened to freedom of religion. where does the government have a say in what the church can and cannot believe. well when/if this becomes a nationwide event of legalization all religions everywhere will not be able to have an opinion even though the bible does teach “man is not without the woman neither the woman without the man” or what about the command given to be “fruitful and multiply” given to adam and eve- I beleive this is still in force! but already to practice believe has been overtaken by the government because of this. Catholic chartible organizations have been forced to overturn their service rathar then change their veiws on commandments veiwed still important.
    vinboy or whover this was who started this comment I quote you saying “dont go around forcing fellow neighbors to adopt your belief” is that not what is being done to those who are proud to teach marriage between man and a woman is still a good thing too. How many years has prayer, god , religion, been fought to be kept out of our schools because it is not what everyone believes. Again cant I believe that men and women bonds are best and teach it to my kids? now here comes the book “a king and a king” and Parents have no say in the matter. It is scary how the rights of non gay individuals are being swamped out in the process without anyones noticing it.
    Some states legalize the rights of gays the same as married without allowing the actual marriage. well then how confusing a girlfriend and boyfriend live together why can they have the same rights? well then who needs to get married? who needs commitment- unless there was more to a marriage than just saying I love you lets get together lets be married or “like ” we are married. back to my original point there ARE more benefits to marriage and more to it all together than just a basic view of it. Then back to Storms facts. Countries who have had this going on for years show….(look at her comment)
    President Lincoln gave hs house divided speech and I quote : A house divided against itself cannot stand.” I believe this government cannot endure, permanently, half slave and half free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved — I do not expect the house to fall — but I do expect it will cease to be divided.
    It will become all one thing or all the other. ”
    I believe this is still true! We cant stand devided for long and yes everyone needs to consider this wisely and consider the future wisely. thisis not a matter of judging as vinman brought up this is not a matter of judging the indivual worth based upon their actions (somewhat religous speech from me be prepared) only one know the intents of all hearts and the truth in everything and its not the US government it lies within the power of a more devine being. We are not to judge others but to judge the path of our own choices. We can love the person and not condone what they are doing. are we to call judgements based upon someones lifestyle smoking, murder, rape ,aclchohalism drug addiction etc- discrimination? “theyre differnt hey let them do what they want why let it bother us so much?” We can still respect the person to a degree that does some of these things in fat again as vin boy mentioned we are told through scripture to forgive the 7 and 70. meaning everyone! our government as storm said is run (at least is supposed to be ) run by us! we will be the ultimate deciders of the future of america. We are not trying to kill, throw out, confine, imprison, do way with, whatever you want to call it no one I know is trying to get rid of gays as people like were the persecutions of African americans, Jews, etc. all this is is protecting our own personal veiws and rights. Again why cant I like man and woman relationships more and not be considered a bigot, why cant I have a say in this teaching to my kids. soon we all will see the full affects this will have on our own rights if we dont make a careful planned decision of our own now!

  11. Ian Says (November 4th, 2008):

    Well Storm I can oppose your statistics. Your statistics may be true about the crime and distress, but to solely blame gay people getting married is horse crap. I am sure that there are other factors involved when it comes to crime. I would doubt that gay marriage had anything to do with crime unless the gay couples were drug lords. Then again they would be no difference between a gay couple and a heterosexual couple committing crimes. Being gay or straight doesn’t prove how crime and distress arises, nor does it prove more gays commit crime than straight people. There are more straight people than gay people. So CORY we are not underpopulated nor will we have to worry about being underpopulated from gay people. Being gay actually helps our overpopulated society. There are only about 6 billion people in this world, I would find that hard to believe that our population was dwindling. Gay people cannot be blamed for other peoples actions. If I gave you a gun to shoot someone you have a choice to either shoot someone or to not shoot someone, being gay shouldn’t effect your decision. Of course I wouldn’t say I was a saint either for giving you the gun but I cannot be entirely blamed for your actions after that, and again whether you pull the trigger or not being gay or straight wont effect your decision to shoot someone. It would be like a domino effect. You hit one domino and the rest will fall as a result of another domino hitting it, do we blame the domino in the middle for making the rest fall or do we blame the first one to fall? This world is full of cause and effect. We can’t expect to blame one event or situation as the cause for our effect unless it is directly responsible. We don’t read futures. If I stepped on a butterfly today and someoned died tomorrow would I be blamed, I mean there is a slight chance that I could have caused that death with a chain of events resulting from that butterflies death? So as you can see your statistics don’t point to all the factors. The person doing those statistics just pulled out a factor that was present when crime and distress was occurring.

  12. Kay'Cee Says (November 5th, 2008):

    I’m an 14 year old girl and I have no problem with gay marriages. I think that it should be ligal eveywhere! I mean it’s about love not gender. I maen what if someone told you, you can’t get married. i would be pretty mad. I maen I’m not gay or bi. I have gay friends that want to get married but they can’t. I think they should be able to. God made people he didn’t say who they had to like. It just bugges me.

  13. udontneed2no Says (November 6th, 2008):

    ok im a homophobic person i dont really like gay people but i think that if they are gay then thats their choice and they should be able to get married if they want either way it doesnt really matter because they can still be together which no one can stop and if someone does it will cause chaos so they might as well let them do it.

  14. Lee Lee Says (January 28th, 2009):

    God made Adam and eve not Adam and Steve gay people should not be married phsychologically there is something wrong with gay people and there are proven facts I’m with Storm on this.

  15. Misty Says (February 24th, 2009):

    Goodness. With all the emotions and statistical facts being used to debate this issue, I thought I might infer a piece of reality. I do not wish to persuade or conform. I just want to share the actual everyday facts of my life.

    My partner and I are both college educated, tax paying, and law abiding citizens. In fact we both work for the same government that currently negates gay marriage. Its personal and its not. Do I wish to be married to her? Yes. Why? Because she made me believe in love. Because she is my best friend. Because she has never failed me. Because even when life is hard, she stands by me. Because when I am sick, she cares for me. Because when money is tight, she still finds a way to provide for our family. Because her entire happiness is intertwined with my happiness.

    How can any of those reasons be derived as something negative? Of course I want to marry her!

    I certainly appreciate Storm’s educated and well organized opinion; however, I feel the need to address the child issue.

    We have two children. Pay close attention to these details and then compare them with statistics of average American children.

    Neither of our children requires any medication. We have never had any behavioral issues with either of them. This year alone, our oldest was honored with student of the month twice and our youngest was just chosen as February student of the month.

    Both of our children are involved in both sport and academic after school activities as well as Tae Kwon Do, where they learn about respect and discipline. Both children have a 4.0 GPA and well explored career plans.

    Both of our children respond with proper manners, even when we are not there. Both their teachers and school principal have complimented us on their manners and ability to lead in a classroom.

    They are both aware of God and his creations. We have educated them not only in our views but differing opinions as well. We address all views as valid and important but thoroughly explain not to cause harm and not to accept harm. With our children, we have studied a multitude of religions and celebrate the diversity this world offers.

    Everyone in our family plays a musical instrument of their own choosing and practices daily.

    My partner and I have created a wonderful, consistent, and stable home for our family.

    Now, I am no one special and certainly not an activist but I hope those who find my lifestyle immoral or unstable for children will read this and then ask yourself “How many people are creating a home for their children like this lady?” “Does it seem to matter whether she has a partner that is a man or a woman, when compared to the harsh statistics our nation’s children?”

    In conclusion, I want to address a couple of comments throughout this blog.

    1. God did create Adam and Eve. Thank Goodness; however, he also created me.

    2. It is stated “I really don’t like gay people” This is discriminations at its ugliest. You don’t know me. How can you decide that you don’t like me without meeting me? I am actually a very kind person. I volunteer at nursing homes, I volunteer at my local hospice, and every Friday I spend the entire at my children’s school helping developmentally delayed children learn to read and teach simple math concepts. I always give the right of way in traffic, I open the door for others when I see them coming, and I am respectful and courteous to others when they are speaking.

    3. I have NEVER acted inappropriately in public. Well, I do smile at my partner and laugh as much as possible with her whether we are in public or not.

    Funny story: Just last week, we were at the grocery store buying ingredients to make Valentine’s Day cookies when a married straight couple with their three children started fighting about money. After the mother called the father “stupid mother!@#$*” and stormed off with the cart, the father turned to the children (who looked the ages 14, 10, and maybe 4 or 5) and said ” F*!#ing pick something out for F*!#’s sake. And get the cheap sh*t, I don’t f*!#ing money for everything.” Then he stormed off leaving these children alone and embarrassed. Meanwhile, our youngest child stood there, mouth dropped and then asked me if WE could buy Valentine’s cookies for this family instead of our ingredients.

    This is a true story. It actually took place on Feb 12, 2009 in our local grocery store.

    My only desire in writing this is to ask others, not to change their viewpoints, but to show respect and tolerance for our differences in the same way my children are capable of.

    Respectfully,

    Misty

    p.s. In our home, we say both nightly prayers and daily prayers of gratitude for our meals. We named the family from the store “The Unhappy Family” and now we pray for their happiness and lessened suffering as well.

  16. Misty Says (February 24th, 2009):

    oh one more thing. I do not think the “Unhappy Family” represents all straight families. Just like my family does not represent all gay families. However we are both families and that is non-negotiable. : )

  17. boba Says (February 27th, 2009):

    gay marriage is ok there humans not animals to be judging them like that just imagine if u were gay and they wer judging u like that……..

  18. boba Says (February 27th, 2009):

    just think about it seriously

  19. Misty Says (March 2nd, 2009):

    Lee Lee,

    You claim there is something wrong with me. To claim there is something phsychologically altered in me; I am going to need to have a better understanding of what you are saying because the term Homosexuality has not been associated with mental illness for almost 40 years.

    I am an open person and open to other ways of thinking but that is a very bold statement.

    For all my time spent defending this country, I never attacked anyone who was different than myself or tried to label them.

    In fact, I have always tried to understand someone else’s views.

    Please explain your universal diagnosis of me and all the other humans out there.

    Did you know in the civil rights movement; white people claims they needed separate drinking fountains because they didn’t want to “catch” diseases from African-Americans?

    It’s 2009; surely our intelligence as a nation has improved more than this.

  20. Bianca Says (March 6th, 2009):

    Just let guys get married let them live thier life!!!

  21. Misty Says (March 11th, 2009):

    I want to thank those who don’t have to support gay rights but choose to do so anyway. This is one person who is waiting for the laws to change who really appreciates it!

    THANK YOU : )

  22. Rusty Says (March 12th, 2009):

    gay people may not be tax collectors or prostitutes and yes we should love everybody but I’m not going to encourage sinning!!! I understand that no one is perfect but we should follows God’s laws and one of them is stated in the Bible, Leviticus 18:22 and Romans 1:26-27. I’m not perfect either but I’m not just gonna sit back and watch people sin when I can do something about, something that is going to help them.

  23. Misty Says (March 14th, 2009):

    Rusty,

    I respect your beliefs and appreciate your altruism. I am affected by your post in a most postive way. I could change the way I live but I can not change who I love. It is good christians like yourself that I understand. I commend your honesty. I wish you the very best in your path adn appreciate your concerns of sinning. If in the end of the world, your beliefs are founded that homosexuality is a sin and I am sitting with the big guy in the sky,being question over my life, (and I truly mean this with all my heart) I promise to remember to tell him, that you showed true compassion and true christianity at the same time. That is a very rare character trait, that many who find homosexualtiy a sin, do not possess. So that you for your kindness. Like I said in my previous post, I am not an activist and I do not wish for your acceptance; just tolerance. I am pleased to know that if I should need help, you’ll be there. Thank you and may God bless your every step in life. : )

    Misty

  24. Misty Says (March 14th, 2009):

    I just saw my typos. Sorry!

  25. Shay Says (March 24th, 2009):

    Im with you because why do people even care how gay people live.i am doing a report on gay marriage and I am for gay marriage ,because they have the same rights we do to get married so they should.

  26. Misty Says (March 25th, 2009):

    Shay,

    Thank you for your support. Just you taking the time to comment means more than anything else.

    Best wishes,

    Misty

  27. Coco Tarentino Says (April 2nd, 2009):

    Legalize gay marriage, then make divorce illegal. Make it that if you marry someone, you have to stay with that person for the rest of your life. That should solve at least part of the sanctity problem.
    Then make it a law where if you knock someone up, you have to marry them. That should scare the shit out most people who really don’t want to be stuck with someone they slept with at a club.
    I agree with myself. Unless someone else said that. Then I agree with them.

  28. Troy Says (April 11th, 2009):

    Storm,
    Well have to wait about 2 more years to bear out your “facts” on countries that have had gay marriage for 10 years or more. since the first country to have gay marriage was the Netherlands in 2001. Civil unions and partnership registration do not count for comparison purposes since they are inequitable to full marriage rights. While civil unions and partnership registration are a great first step for a state or society to take on the road to marriage equality they do not create an atmoshpere of true equality in which to measure the effects of marriage equality. As for the rest of your facts, the “devaluation of marriage” you suppose gay marriage will create has been in progress in this country for many years; the decrease in marriage rates, increase in divorce rates, and increase in out-of-wedlock births. The argument that gays and lesbians should be denied marriage because heterosexuals have children out of wedlock is odd and unfair; would you deny your daughter supper because her brother failed to do his chores?

  29. Amanda Says (April 23rd, 2009):

    Misty,
    Wow. As I began reading the comments of this post, I appealed with Storm’s thoughtful response on the effects of gay marriage. If there are statistics out there that gave a somewhat general consensus that the kids of gay people would be more prone to psychological harm, we would be wise to take note. But we have seen the same, if not worse, cases with heterosexual couples. I understand that argument can only go so far. Well, I am a Christian. And I believe that the God is clear (in my understanding) that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I just wanted to say thank you, Misty, so much, for reminding me why I should stand by my personal convictions in a gracious and loving manner. I believe because of the Bible first. While we scientifically research and discuss, all that for me ultimately, is secondary. Perfectly valid but secondary. I sincerely, with all my heart, apologize for the unloving actions of Christians in this sensitive subject of sexuality. I love the gay community. I am striving to practice love over tolerance and acceptance. I seek unity, embracing all people but not all beliefs. In your honest opinion Misty…what do you think about those thoughts and reflections? I would love to dialogue more about this. Thank you for your encouraging words.

  30. Misty Says (May 5th, 2009):

    Amanda,
    Your thoughts and reflections show the true spirit of Christianity, although this is difficult for some to understand, I still attend church as do my children. I do not want to force my life on anyone but I also would enjoy not having others forced on myself. In the spirit of Christianity, so many are unaware of the difficulties so many homosexuals must face. No person would ever choose to be in a combative and defensive life. Every person desires individual happiness. I find my happiness in being understanding. I have no capacity to hate. It is not inside me to do so. This reason alone explains my profound astonishment of Christians who hate. I am somehow on a lower food chain because I am in a good stable relationship that happens to be with another woman. I didn’t plan it. I wasn’t looking for it and to be honest, I avoided it for almost two years. I didn’t want to be a person in this position. I was miserable before I met her. And then miserable after acknowledging how I felt about her. My cries sounded like a dying animal I promise you. Since facing who I am and dealing with what I am; I am happy. I thought to be happy I needed to be accepted by others but it turns out I need to accept myself. As I have said previously, I am not an activist but I do believe human tolerance is a necessity for life.
    I look forward to dialogue with you.
    Respectfully,
    Misty

  31. Amanda Says (May 19th, 2009):

    Thanks so much Misty, great to hear from you. Please feel free to email me at amanda.r.kraus@gmail.com…or you can give me yours.

  32. Mike Says (May 19th, 2009):

    i am doing a report about gay marriage and reading the facts that misty put made me change my opinion on gay marriage i support marraige

  33. Misty Says (May 22nd, 2009):

    Amanda,

    It was wonderful to share with you. It is my experience that we fear what we don’t understand or what we misunderstand. Acceptance and understanding are two separate issues. Anger infuses anger but understanding evokes understanding. We are all different in some way. I am no monster depicted by erratic behavior or a degenerate of any way. I understand people’s fear of difference. However, my story is not much different than anyone else’s. I seek life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness just as every other American.

    My best,
    Misty

  34. Misty Says (May 22nd, 2009):

    Mike,

    Thank you for your kind words. I am pleased to meet you. If you have any questions for your report, please feel free to ask. I am a student myself. Marriage is important to me because it symbolizes a unity to my partner and my children. My oldest son and I sat down just yesterday to discuss the passage in 1 Corinthians about love. I am proud to see my children strive for an understanding of beliefs versus laws. It is important to their development. We only truly understand ourselves through questioning what intrigues or challenges us.

    Respectfully,
    Misty

  35. krys Says (December 4th, 2009):

    I’m also doing a report on gay marriage. People need to get their heads out of their butts and open their minds. everyone is so closed minded about this! How’s it going to hurt you if gay people get married? seriously i’d like to know why people care so much? Why can’t you just let gay people live their life how they want to? It’s not your life so quit putting your input like it even matters. If you love someone you should be able to marry them! People weren’t allowed to marry different races either, but hey people woke up and said oh duh that’s not fair or right! Society is changing and one day gay people WILL be able to marry.

  36. jade Says (February 23rd, 2010):

    im am doing a report on gay rights and one of my subtittles is why cant gays be married

  37. Steffani Says (April 13th, 2010):

    hello, im fourteen and im doing a debate for english. its all assigned, but my partner and i have to argue why homosexual marriage should be legalized. i live in california where it was recently banned. personally, i love gay people. im sorry if the word gay is offending D: but i have many gay, bi, and lesbian friends who i absolutely adore and it kills me to think that when they grow up and fall in love they would have to leave california in order to be together through the union of marriage. i have “experimented” and i am fully straight but i dont feel like im any less of a person. i am an atheist but im a theology lover. i take a lot of crap all the time but i just cant believe. like i said, i am fourteen years old but i feel im much more mature than “storm” because im not only tolerant, but accepting of gay people. doesnt this somewhat remind you of when we had slaves and they had rights taken away from them? thats what i think of. hopefully the nation changes soon (: i wish you all the luck in the world with your spouse and children misty <3
    xoxo, steffani.

  38. Parker Says (May 13th, 2010):

    Gay people are here and here to stay its their right leave them alone and no amount of statistics will make them change or go away!

  39. Julia Lloyd Says (June 1st, 2010):

    Love is a srtonge feeling , im onlly 13 and i dont understand the meaning. I understand that love is a feeling that everyone has the right to feel, even is the feeling is toword the same sexs. The consiversy between gay marriges is absalouty un perfestional .. love is a feeling NOT a gender. Gays have the right to be married. If you are in love you should be aloud to get marride! Dosent matter your gender who u are in love with. The bible never says the SSM should not be able to marry. The bible is just words on paper!
    we have our own oppion. Still Gays should be aloud to marry.. Its a right not a oppion

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