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Technology

Computer Love

In the animal kingdom, a Bowerbird attracts females by meticulously arranging his bachelor’s pad (called a bower) with objects of the same color. It’s his way of proving to the girl he’s hot stuff.

So what does a computer geek do to prove his worth? Well… here are a couple of things I did with computers all in an attempt to impressive the girls:

1) In High School, I had a huge crush on one girl (ok, I lied, it was more than one), but she was way out of my league back then and I was too chicken shiet to talk to her. One day I passed her in the hallway to class. I asked her what’s up and she told me she was heading to her computer class to take a final, and it was going to suck. So what is a computer knight like myself suppose to do? I went into another computer room and crashed all the computers in the computer lab. Yep… I WinNuked all the computers in the lab making them BSOD. The lab teacher had no idea what happened so he had to let the class go. I waited for her in the hallway, but she didn’t even see me on the way out, and I never got the chance to regail her with the story of my knighthood. Looking back, I want to apologize to the computer lab teacher for ruining his test day. I am sorry Sir. I was in love.

2) Back in the day, it was all about AOL. If you were not on AOL, you were practically not online. But I was poor, and my parents had to borrow money from their friends just to buy me a computer, so we could not afford to pay for the AOL subscription. But I desperately wanted to be online because all the girls were in the “Bay Area AZN” chatrooms. First I tried using those brute force scripts, and that worked for a while, but it was too difficult to do that all the time. So I resorted to something evil – I keylogged all the computers at school. I knew it was evil, so I made it a rule to only skim those logs for passwords. It worked. I stole many AOL accounts and constantly hung out in those AZN chatrooms after school. Needless to say, the attemping to find romance aspect of it didn’t work. Girls were not impressed by boys in AZN chatrooms. :( Till this day, I feel really bad for keylogging all the computers.

3) Those two things were fun and all, but my biggest computer stunt to impress a girl: I got a computer job. Yup… to impress and provide for my soon to be wife, I gave up my life as a deadbeat gambler to become a web developer. It pays wells, great hours, and I never have to wear a tie to work. Best of all, I don’t have to do anything illegal… at least not ones that I can blog about today. :)

What about you? Have you done anything geeky to impress your lady friends?