At least you are not one sock

Next time you feel utterly useless, remember this “at least you are not one sock”.

There is nothing in this world more useless than one sock. First off, there is nothing you can do with one sock. Socks are made to co-exists and work when they are in pairs. If you have one sock, you will have to make the hard choice of allowing which foot to go cold, suffer the wear and tear of bipedal motion, and you will be walking in circle since one leg will be shorter than the other one.

But that is not the worst part of having one sock. In fact, the worst part of having one sock is the feeling you get when you find one sock in your sock drawer…

When you find one sock, you would normally think to yourself, “where the fudge is the other sock?” You then begin the futile search around your living space in an attempt to locate that missing sock, knowing damn well you will never find it. Then, when you are exhausted from your fruitless search, you think to yourself “what the fudge happened to that sock?” Well, this is where it gets interesting. If you really search in your soul, you will come to realize that loosing that one sock makes you an idiot.

Why? well, if you were to wake up one morning and find your car missing, you can say to yourself, “fudge, someone stole my car!” That’s ok, it is expected that people would steal your car. Or, if you look in your pocket and realize you forgot your wallet, you would say, “fudge, I forgot my wallet!”. Even that’s completely ok, because every day you change your clothes, and it’s easy to forget to put your wallet back in your pants when you are drowsy in the morning. However, if you were to loose a sock, there is absolute no excuse…

No one is out to STEAL your sock. Your sock is either on your feet, or in your clothes hamper, not anywhere in between. And lastly, you will never FORGET to wear your socks, because you wouldn’t be able to walk around without them.

So, knowing these facts, how is it possible that you loss a sock? Is it because were too lazy to bundle up your socks when you got them from the drier? Or it is because you were too lazy to put them in your hamper, where dirty socks belong? Or do you honestly believe that your washing machine ate your socks and transported it to socks-land? Whatever your reasoning maybe, it all comes down to one thing: You are an idiot for loosing your sock!

So in conclusion, being one sock sucks because 1) You have no use and 2) You make the person who found you feel stupid. Yea, it sucks to be one sock. And it sucks to be the person who found that one sock….