23 years and counting…


23 years into my life and still I am still penniless. For my job I have to drive around a lot to these remote locations, so on the way I see a lot of land…after land… after land.. just open grass areas or farm land.. so I been reading this book “collapsed” and it makes me think about how I don’t really have anything. Then I thought, what if I had a patch of land, then I can cut down some trees, build me a house, cultivate the land to grow vegetables and such, then I can own some animals. Maybe not cows, because apparently cows are exhaust the resource like crazy because of their grazing. Maybe chicken, I love chicken anyways. :lol:

I can’t imagine why anyone would give up a comfortable life as an educated member of society to go live on a farmland working their ass off, but then again, I would be totally self-sufficient. Well actually, maybe I will be self-sufficient. I will still need water and what not to water my plant, if I dont live next to a lake or something. Hrmmph..

Anyways, I came to realize that working hard does not always mean you’ll reap the reward. Some of the hardest working people I know live at the bottom rung of society. Being affluent has alot more to do with 1) Luck 2) How smart you are. If you are mart you can find ways to accumulate wealth and escape all the curve balls life throw at you, and to exploit all he opportunies presented to you. But none of that even matter if you are not lucky. If you are lucky, you dont need to worry about shit. But then again someone once said, “Luck is an opportunity for those who are well prepared” Being prepared mean working hard… but then again just cus you work hard doesnt mean the “opportunity” will present itself, so in the end you wont have any luck.

I guess this is where religion comes in. Ok, nevermind religion, what I am actually talking about is FAITH. I can’t imagine how you could live life devoid of faith, because in the absence of faith, life is just a random onslaugh of coincidental events that has no real meaning. Once again, that is just another way to say “luck”. Without faith, you live your entire life waiting to get “lucky”. If you have faith, in a God, or heck, maybe you have faith in the stale piece of cheetos staring at me on my desk, whatever it is, faith makes you believe that eventually you will come to a place of infinitely happines, where “randomness” and chance no longer takes effect, but that in this place, only happiness will prevail. I call it heaven, some people call it a cheesecake flavored ice cream with raspberry mix-in you can get at Cold-Stone. Whatever we think heaven is, it basically is a place where you wont have to worry about what will happen, and you wont have to wait for luck to strike. In this place, you are constantly lucky, and happiness is abound.

Not meaning to sound like a dork, but a lot of times I feel like I am in heaven already. I have a loving family, a beautiful girlfriend, and great friends. I am well educated, healthy, and a GREAT head of hair. Those things keeps me happy, most the time, if not all the time, and that’s my heaven. But then, I go to wellsfargo.com to look at my bank account and realize I only have like $100 bucks to pay my $20,000 debt, it makes me want to cry. Then on Monday morning I have to get my ass up at 6am to go slave myself doing someone elses work, it makes me even more sad. I guess in my life, there are still a couple of things I need to take care of before I am truly in heaven….

Speaking of which, back to the top, if I had a farm, my own house, my own land, my own chickens, and my own vegetable garden, shit… i’d be pretty happy… no bills.. no working for people doing things THEY want me to do… no wories about a crashing economy that could eventually leave me jobless and begging on the streets… nice.. ok.. so where do I start?? where how do I get to own a farm?? oh right… I have to work…

Ok then.. see you all in hell.. (now thats another topic)