snow sucks

I don’t get it.

I don’t get why we risk our lives to go snowboarding. Driving up the snow covered mountains is extremely dangerous and people spin out all the time. I myself have been in a car that hit a snow bank after slipping on the ice. Putting on chains is a pain the ass, and make your car rattles like hell. With chains on, you have to drive hella slow so it takes forever to get to the snow park. When you get to the snow park, there are tons of people there so it takes forever to get on a lift. On days when there are hella people, the snow is solid ice so falling is a painful experience.

Snowboarding equipment cost a ton of money and is a pain in the ass to bring around. It also sucks when you buy snowboarding equipment but have no time to go snowboarding, so you end up wasting all that money. Lift tickets are also expensive, and you are not guaranteed good snow, or good space to snowboard in. Basically, you could end up paying $50 for a lift ticket and have to stand around waiting for a lift, or dodging people on the slopes.

Snow makes life almost unbearable. It’s cold, slippery, and cold. Yes, very cold. It makes your car get stuck, you fall on your ass, and you have to shovel that shit every morning just to open your door. A snow ball fight is not as magical as it seems on TV. A snowball is usually hard as hell and could give you a damn concussion if someone hits you really hard with one. Also, the cold weather makes your skin itch and crack and you bleed.

The novelty of going on a snow – cabin trip wears off within hours as you realize its freaking cold and there ain’t shit to do but stay indoors and play board games. I do enjoy the board games, but I am pretty sure we can play board games at home without risking our lives driving up the mountain.

Don’t get me wrong. I love snowboarding. It is extremely fun, but I would rather NOT break any of my bones.

Anyways, in the spirit of griping about shit, here is my advice: stay home, get pale, and beat off. Wait till the summer and go do some water sports… Also, in the summer time girls wear less clothes, that’s always a good thing…

  • big penis

    i like yellow snow, i also like my yellow snow in your mouth
    brown slush snow is also good

  • alpaca

    Thanks for writing that, your post is hilarious and cracked me up. All those things you mention bother me too, though somehow I always end up being dragged snowboarding year after year.

  • I am mega stoked since it began pouring at my home and that equates to riding at the resorts! In addition I purchased a discount lift tickets pass for a load of snow resorts!