Some nights I cannot sleep because my arms and legs feel like its pulsating and it drives me nuts. I cannot describe the feeling to be honest, but pulsating is probably the closest to it. I guess another way to describe it is the feeling of being tied in a knot, or as if there were ants crawling up and down my arms. Regardless of what it feels like, the point is, it drives me nuts. I can not sleep and I have to get up and do jumping jacks or sits up in the middle of the night. Or sometimes I just twitch back and forth to make it go away.
It normally keeps me up for like 30 minutes then I can go back to sleep. In those thirty minutes it feels like hell. It almost feels like I want to just rip my arm or my leg off and toss it against the wall. I am having it right now, thats why I stopped sleeping and went to write in my blog.
I know there is a condition known as RLS and there is a drug for it, but I am not a doctor so I am not going to diagnose myself. If I was rich, or had good health insurance, I could go get it checked out. But even then its hard to figure out because it happens erratically. And drives me nuts!! :x
Today I join the list of people who knows someone who died of cancer. My cousin, which I dont have a picture of, died from cancer today. He is not what you normally think of when you think of cousin, because he is actually in his late 30s, so he is a lot older than me. Him and his family were the first people we knew when we came to America in 1991. They opened up their home to us, and they gave us everything we needed to start our life here. I remember coming over to his house at Christmas and eating turkey and corn. The house was always cold, and it had a big backyard with a lot of untrimmed grass.
He was a good person. He always tried to do things for other people, and he always did a lot for me and my family. He actually helped my dad buy his first car, and he also helped me buy my first car a few years back. He was a simple man. At the end of his life he was driving a cab in SF. Of all the cabs in SF, one day while walking in downtown SF, I actually saw him driving by.
I am the oldest in my family, but I would consider him to be almost like my older brother. Of all his brothers and sisters, he was the most caring. He was also very good with his hands and that made him sort of an idol in my mind. He could single handedly rebuilt a car engine in his spare him. He could also remodel an entire kitchen by himself. He could build almost anything. He was an amazing person.
When I learned he had cancer, I didnt know how to re-act. I just remember it being weird seeing him bald, weak, and confused. In my mind, he had never been like that. He was always strong, friendly, and helpful. That is how I will remember him. He was a great man. God will be happy to welcome him to his kingdom.
So thats not just a pretty flower to showcase my feminine side, its actually an invasive water primose called “Ludwigia” that we are currently studying at the Aquatic Weed Research lab that I work for. :lol: We’d go out to selected invaded sites and collect these little buggers by either walking into the water or paddling in with our kayaks. We then bring it home to our lab and seperate it and measure the biomass to try and understand the ecology of the plant. There are numerous other tedious tasks that we do revolving around this plant, however, it does not please me to go into details about those things.
I have begun the process of seeking a new job/hobby. Hobby? Yes, hobby. Being fresh out of college, with so many interest, and different talents, I find it absolutely necessary for me to give anything I am interested in a try. so when I apply for jobs, its not ONLY about making the bucks or developing a career, but its about trying something I like. Hence, its a hobby. I like working with computers, so I got that job at CompUSA, I like talking to people, so I got a job busing tables at Thai 2K, I like working with my hands, so I TRIED to get a job at jiffy-lube, but sadly they never even called me back. My main hobby/passion is ecology, so I did all those temp jobs working outdoors. They were all fun and extremely educational, but now I am interested in doing something sales related. I like to sell. I like convincing people to believe in my ideas, and thats exactly what sales is; getting people to believe in you.
I also want to make tons of money. I been feeling very underappreciated lately. With all my skills and experience, I deserve to get paid way more. There are so many people out there getting paid 2x to 3x the amount of money I make doing honest work, for doing almost nothing, and I am getting tired of it. I have alot of debt to pay off, and I need to start saving money for my future (ie. girlfriend). I dont care too much for fancy car or big house, but I do want to give my girlfriend a BMW, a fat diamond ring, and buy my parents a big home. I believe in myself. I know I have what it takes to be successful. Let’s hope I find a company that can appreciate that.